time flies, or maybe skyrockets

ola, i would like to say thank you because, despite of me being very much inactive in updating this blog, i've still been getting even a few views every now and then. thank you for keeping my only space alive, weeeee. :")

i can't believe April is almost done. since my last update, i just bid goodbye to 2013 and welcomed 2014. it seems i just wrote it a few weeks ago, but in truth it feels like ages since then. saying that so much has happened since then is an understatement. it has been a wildly hectic first quarter of the year. (i was sick for the whole month of March, with fever coming and going, and then again + lost my voice, and not to mention there was one night i woke up throwing up! spell PAGOD!) with weekdays and weekends fully-loaded, i felt time was just passing me by. days went by too fast as things get done a day at a time. i felt that with more things i get done, the more the days are going by before me. i knew there was enough time before me, but i felt like i was running out of it.

nevertheless, there are so many things that i'm grateful for. still being on the first quarter of the year, i've had faith goals achieved already. prayers have been answered. plans have been confirmed. God has been teaching me to live according to His timetable. right now it seems that i've been being taken too fast, but when i look into His answers, those have been long-time goals and prayers. it might have taken me too long to receive His answers, but it was the right time to receive them. i would not have learned on how to hold on to Him tighter and trusted in Him deeper if i had received those answers right away. time might have passed by already waiting for God's responses, but i felt progress and growth. none of these i would have realized if things just came in an instant.

during one of our life 101 sessions after rehearsals, i received this word from Shek about time. that i should not think of it running out, or coming in too fast. that i should take it a day at a time, enjoying the "now". there are days when i really get very very very impatient, and some days that i feel like i'm being dragged on to get by. time can consume and control us, but we can choose to enjoy and live by it. it is really hard for me to keep waiting, for being the organized OC that i am, i have a lot on my mental to-do list that needs to be ticked. waiting may sometimes be the hardest part, but the lesson is there. it is not mainly on the goal, but the process.

i might wake up tomorrow realizing it's already September. but hey, there are still a lot of days in between now and then. there are still more days to enjoy and look forward to (and yes, more hectic days ahead). i seriously want time to pause for a while and let me catch up. but it waits for no one; either you seize the day or regret it. in God's timing, He will never take us too slow nor too fast. it will always be the right time for us. it will always be better to look into His timing and hold on to His speed rather than relying on the calendar's turn.

it's Friday today, wow it's the weekend already??

PS. i also celebrated my birthday last week, turning a year older huhu. but i'm blessed to be 24. it may sound old by now (and it feels like it too!), but i can't be more grateful that i am where i am right now at this age. i still have a long way to go, but i know i've gone far enough already by this time. God has been faithful; He has loved me for 24 years and has never left my side, imagine that?!

birthday cake + balloons + flowers and a gorgeous portrait
from my Acts Manila family :")

what a surprise, surprise from Acts Manila! 

celebrating not just birth, but a full life

today, you would have been 56. another year would have been added to your precious life, with more days to be able to continue the fight and live honoring God. it would have been another special day to be grateful of renewed hopes and unfailing mercies that He would be faithful in pulling you through.

but no. His precious plan for you was to already be with Him - free from pain, completely healed from your sickness, and receiving that eternal honor to be praising Him face to face. my heart is at peace knowing that instead of celebrating this day in bed, struggling and crying in deep pain, you will finally rejoice in heaven that He has given you a life worth remembering here on earth.

it hasn't been easy since you've been gone July 18. i still think about you being just there in Lola's house; though away from me, but still present. i still can't imagine you being completely gone, that i dread the day of visiting there and not see you. and i don't even know how to face this day - your special day, without being with you.

Mama, if you were alive right now, i'd still wish for you to be completely healed, restored in your physical strength, and able to go through your normal routines. but i guess the answer to our prayers was way better than that. it may be really hard to accept, like how death could be the best way out of pain for you, but i know you are in better hands. i am thankful for the strength and faith you had. for those times that you said you wanted to give up already, you still showed willingness to fight to live for another day. through you, i have found true courage and bravery. your life was all i needed to watch in order for me to know how to face my fears and live resting in His love. you could have done more in 56 years, or greater, but your 55 years were already so full for you've shown us how to live this life.

i miss you, Mama. more and more everyday.
i don't think a "happy birthday" would fit anymore, hehe. can i just say..

THANK YOU FOR LIVING YOUR LIFE LOVING US.
WE CELEBRATE BECAUSE YOU HAVE GIVEN US THE BEST OF YOU.
I LOOOOOVE YOU! :")

Birthday 2012

Every year is just getting better and better. I couldn't be less than grateful. Thank you, my Father. ❤

oh hello, my new (kikay) friend. :")
and that peach walnut cake from Conti's is really yummeeehhhh!

best treats to end a draining working birthday: wintermelon milk tea from Serenitea and
DQ's ice cream sandwich courtesy of Charmaine Perez! so much lovin'. <3