Saturday, July 21, 2012

under God's grace

when this day started, i never expected it would turn out the way it did.

i was assigned to substitute for classes in Makati, somewhere i wasn't familiar with. i said yes yesterday as i got clear instructions on how to get there. around 6am, i woke up to the sound of heavy rains. i really don't like rains at all; i've never been a fan of rainy days (i'm grateful for them and at times i do admire them, but really not a "rain-person", if there's such thing). while half-awake, i was praying really hard that it would stop, thinking about what i have to go through this day.

when i finally woke up around 9am to prepare myself and get ready, the rain isn't getting better. i felt so stressed and started worrying too much about what might happen to me. yes, i even thought of getting stranded in that unknown place, with no one to call and rescue me. (my brain in total panic mode, haha!) i even asked if the classes are suspended, but sadly i got "no" for an answer. i prayed REALLY hard for one thing: please let the rain stop, dear Lord.

and.. it wasn't stopping. from time to time, it was getting harder and harder, which made me get really stressed. feeling so helpless, tears suddenly fell from my eyes. i didn't know anymore what to pray for. when Teacher Chelo called me, i had nothing to say; i didn't know if i would want to back out or just go through this. her prayer strengthened me, and her words of encouragement allowed me to "give it a try". when the rain calmed down, i finally decided to leave the house.

while i was still in the south area, it was still raining. not as hard, but my prayer of asking it to stop still unanswered. approaching Makati area, the skies were brighter and clearer - i had hope. when i got off the bus, i was relieved to see and feel no rain. God has answered me. while walking along Jupiter Street to find the building, i suddenly found a Serenitea store. i smiled thinking, God loves me. i bought myself mango milk tea (i LOVE their mix of mango milk tea! so good!) to comfort me that stressful morning. when i finally got to find the building (it wasn't too far walk, and not so hard to find, thank God!), i still had time to grab some lunch and calm myself down. time check: sometime before 12:30, class is still at 2. while inside Starbucks having lunch, i was trying to compose and relax myself. i'm grateful that i was able to get where i'm supposed to be - on time, no rain, and i have milk tea. :")

but my worries didn't stop, despite having experienced already God's goodness. the day wasn't over - i still had to rush back to Alabang for modern class. thoughts of rain and getting stranded still bugging me. when i finally finished the last class at 5pm, i first looked outside the window for any signs of rain. there was none. i felt relieved. as what Teacher Chelo said reminded me earlier that day, God will cover me no matter what happens. upon reaching the south, i suddenly felt the feeling of being "home" - safe and secure. nothing beats the feeling of being in a familiar place.

looking back on what happened today, i just felt i was under God's grace the whole time. His way of not answering my prayer of letting the rain stop right away made me trust in Him more. during my helplessness, He carried me through. He proved to me that He is greater than my fears, and most of all, i am not, and will never be, alone.

one thing i need to learn is to trust God RIGHT AWAY. my own fears took over before my trust in Him. i can hear God saying now, "I've done so many unexpected things for you already, how come you still don't trust me right away?" with everything that happened this day already behind me, i can finally see how panicky and fearful i was, hehe. but i'm really grateful that despite me not getting God's lesson right away, God has been really patient in dealing with me.

and, nothing beats the feeling of realizing that you are under the grace of God - bounded and protected by His love. keep my heart, O Lord, quick to trust in You and my ears swift to hear Your comforting voice.

that sign of love in where i thought was a "hopeless" place.
thank you Lord for that Sereni-treat! :")

No comments:

Post a Comment