celebrating not just birth, but a full life

today, you would have been 56. another year would have been added to your precious life, with more days to be able to continue the fight and live honoring God. it would have been another special day to be grateful of renewed hopes and unfailing mercies that He would be faithful in pulling you through.

but no. His precious plan for you was to already be with Him - free from pain, completely healed from your sickness, and receiving that eternal honor to be praising Him face to face. my heart is at peace knowing that instead of celebrating this day in bed, struggling and crying in deep pain, you will finally rejoice in heaven that He has given you a life worth remembering here on earth.

it hasn't been easy since you've been gone July 18. i still think about you being just there in Lola's house; though away from me, but still present. i still can't imagine you being completely gone, that i dread the day of visiting there and not see you. and i don't even know how to face this day - your special day, without being with you.

Mama, if you were alive right now, i'd still wish for you to be completely healed, restored in your physical strength, and able to go through your normal routines. but i guess the answer to our prayers was way better than that. it may be really hard to accept, like how death could be the best way out of pain for you, but i know you are in better hands. i am thankful for the strength and faith you had. for those times that you said you wanted to give up already, you still showed willingness to fight to live for another day. through you, i have found true courage and bravery. your life was all i needed to watch in order for me to know how to face my fears and live resting in His love. you could have done more in 56 years, or greater, but your 55 years were already so full for you've shown us how to live this life.

i miss you, Mama. more and more everyday.
i don't think a "happy birthday" would fit anymore, hehe. can i just say..

THANK YOU FOR LIVING YOUR LIFE LOVING US.
WE CELEBRATE BECAUSE YOU HAVE GIVEN US THE BEST OF YOU.
I LOOOOOVE YOU! :")